RETROSPECT by Hutchinson-Forton A.J

Author:Hutchinson-Forton, A.J.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2021-01-29T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Killing In The Name Of…

“Are you sure you are ready for this? You have only been back for two days. The last time you watched one of them videos…” Anna trails off.

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me.” I turn away from her trying to calm myself down.

“Mac, I am sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it,” she says, putting her hand on my shoulder, turning me round, “just help me understand why it is so urgent. Why it can’t wait a little longer.”

“Anna, I need my life back. With this hanging over me, my life is on hold. I can’t do anything, I can’t go anywhere, I can’t be… I have had that memory stick for ages and not knowing what Alfred has found, it is like an axe hanging over my head waiting to drop. I need to know; I need this to end…” I stop myself ranting.

“Alright, okay I get it. I’m sorry, Mac. It just… screwed me up a bit, seeing you get hurt over and over again. I hoped it would be longer before I had to see anything like that again but I do get it.”

“You don’t have to watch it, girl. I am sure we can fill you in afterwards,” I say, smiling warmly. “I am sorry for going off, I just want my life back.”

“If you had your life back, right now, what would you do?”

“Um… Why?”

“Just curious.”

My eyes watch the fire dance in the fire pit and I think about it, there is so much I would do if I could but what I miss most, are the simple things. Even after I returned, I didn’t get to enjoy them things because I was too messed up and afraid to leave the house. Now, I feel like if I was given the chance to have my life back, I would take it in both hands and live the shit out of it. Trouble is… I am not free.

“Probably sit in the bar, across from a pretty girl. I would go see my mum; go watch a movie at the cinema. Walk in the park, drive to the beach. I don’t know, I just want to be able to have the option, the freedom to make the choice. You know, without someone trying to kill me. It is a bit of a buzz kill” I joke.

“Yeah, I can see how that might ruin dating potential.”

“Speaking of… I am sorry, you know, for not realising I was causing a problem with you and Billy. When the situation comes up again, I will be more aware. It is bad enough my situation prevents me from having someone, it shouldn’t be stopping you too.”

“Mac, I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t okay with my relationship with you. I don’t see why me being with someone should have to change us.”

“I get your point, but if it was me and my girl had a Mac, I wouldn’t be okay with that closeness. I would be ending that relationship before it had even begun.

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